The Results of Joe Biden’s Fitness Test Are In

Many people have been questioning Joe Biden’s fitness.

What folks don’t understand is that his mental capabilities are beyond what any of us can imagine. He is playing 4-D chess and is always at least ten steps ahead of everyone else.

Do you think he’s feeble and weak? Guess again! That’s just an act to fool people into underestimating him. And then, like a stealthy predator in the jungle, he strikes with the venom of ten thousand snakes.

His latest test shows us just how in shape he is, fitter than a man half his age.

Take a look:

Swam 500 yards in 12 minutes

42 pushups in 2 minutes

6 pull-ups with no rest

1.5 mile run in just under 11 minutes

He also completed one week’s worth of New York Times Wordles in under twenty minutes proving his cognitive abilities are sharp. He then located countries on a map and named all fifty-five states.

Though he walks with a ‘stiff gait,’ this means nothing other than tight hamstrings and a recommendation for orthotics.

His physician noted that Joe is, “fit to successfully execute the duties of the presidency.”

Anyone with two eyes and a working brain can tell that Joe could easily serve two more terms.