During this time of political unrest, climate change, misgendering disobedience, and rampant free speech, it’s important to know that help is available. I have come up with a list of both old and new healing modalities to assist in your healing journey. I highly recommend sobbing, rocking back and forth, sitting in a catatonic position, and gazing at the wall to get started.

First, we will look at older modalities that are used today.

Induced Seizures Hungarian doctor Ladislas von Meduna, developed seizure therapy as a tool for those suffering from schizophrenia but its been discovered that this may help jolt the brain into forgetting that Donald J. Trump (insert the person who is traumatizing your brain) exists.

Trepanation involves scraping or drilling a hole into the skull in order to expose the dura mater. This relieves pressure where the political buildup has resided. This has been used since Neolithic times to cure misgendering, refusal to believe in climate change, and lack of desire to use neopronouns.

Bloodletting, sometimes known as “bleeding,” is one of the most ancient and popular healing techniques in the world.

This technique was used by all the cool kids from the Mesopotamians to the Aztecs, and Mayans. Bloodletting involves releasing a large amount of blood to ease pain and suffering from dangerous right-wing agendas. The emotional release is said to be healing and immediate.

Lobotomies are one of the most misunderstood healing techniques ever used in the history of medicine. A lobotomy is typically utilized to treat mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and schizophrenia, and those who don’t follow along with the official narrative such as questioning vaccines or the integrity of political elections. A quick lobotomy will cure you of believing Covid was made in a lab and you will stop doubting the government and do as you are told.

One of my personal favorites is Primal Scream Therapy. Arthur Janov, PhD, created this in the 1970s. There is nothing better or more freeing than screaming into the backyard or a safe space within your house, to let out emotions, trauma, and pain. Most useful when seeing an opinion that differs from your own. I have recently begun Rage Yodeling which is a similar concept but easier on the vocal cords.

New Therapies

Rage Room: any room can be a rage room if you’re angry enough. This involves a sledgehammer and any objects or items that can be destroyed, by breaking, shattering, and cracking. I highly recommend not doing this in your home but going to a place designed for completely annihilating random objects while you imagine Elon Musk or Donald Trump.

Return to Infancy Therapy is a new therapy that is designed to nurture in a time of need. When you have had too much social media or you’ve seen Alex Jones, Donald Trump, or Kanye West mentioned one too many times, you need to go back into your infancy where all that mattered was a warm, soft knitting hemp blanket, a bottle of soy milk, an environmentally safe pacifier and a quiet room with stars on the ceiling.

Crawl Back in the Womb is a wonderful and gentle healing tool where, in complete darkness and silence, you crawl into a large pouch and don’t come out. This can last from one day to one week. By observing darkness and silence, you are deprived of bright lights and noises, news, and other people and their annoying voices. This is a time to retreat into yourself and disengage from the world around you.

Puppet Play I have designed a series of puppets, including Nancy Pelosi, Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, and more (not pictured). These puppets allow you to act out your dreams and disappointments from a political standpoint and live in a world of your own making. Create laws and decide from the perspectives of the most respected political leaders, giving you a sense of power and control.

Exposure Therapy is a wonderful modality that exposes you to your biggest fear whether that be Ben Shapiro, Alex Jones, rats, or clowns. You are simply shown videos and photos of whatever offends you, repeatedly until you no longer care. *Vomiting may be involved and that is simply part of this process.

Jackson Pollacking involves hurling paint on walls or canvasses while screaming, you can be drunk or sober and it can be done alone or in a group setting. This combines powerful healing for emotional well-being with potentially profound and beautiful artwork. Only shades of black are allowed since other shades can be triggering to the LGBTQ2S+ community.

Blacknotherapy allows you to tap into your African ancestry and attempt to overcome the trauma of not being black enough or being too white. This also encompasses White Guilt. Undoing Your Whiteness is touched upon. Get in touch with your tribal self and start being the strong Black person you were always meant to be.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and opinions on these therapies and what has personally worked for you.