Since the start of Covid, I’m sure you have been double and triple masking, if not quadruple masking. I try to stay home as much as possible and when I go out to eat; I use a mask specifically for my nose so I don’t inhale or exhale accidentally.

At the grocery store (usually, Whole Foods because they support fighting Climate Change) I wear a full latex face mask with two surgical masks underneath, along with gloves. When I get home, I wipe everything down with bleach wipes and essential oils, then hold each item over a burning fire to remove any remaining germs.

To avoid triggering those with a Fear of Unmasked Faces, I will mask up during FaceTime and Zoom calls like any responsible, caring person. If I take my dog for a walk, I will of course mask up because sunlight makes Covid molecules regenerate quickly. Everyone knows this.

I knew the pandemic was long from being over. Isn’t it just like the government to lull us into a false sense of good health? With the news today that the health emergency will last through this coming spring, I wanted to remind you to mask up, try not to leave the house, wear gloves, and make sure you are vaccinated and boosted at least ten times, if not more.

I’ve enjoyed getting Moderna, Pfizer, a few back alley shots of Novavax, and an unregulated dose or two of Sputnik as well as a potentially illegal couple of shots of Valneva, shuffled in over the border by fearless South American friends.

So far it’s been determined that vaccine side effects include but aren’t limited to: genital warts, memory loss, swimmers ear, persistent erection, blood clots, explosive diarrhea, organ prolapse, blistering skin, vision loss, black urine, vanishing fingerprints, anal fissures, shooting pain, hallucinations, third-degree burns, septum holes, swollen toes, amnesia, twisted colon, loss of bowel control and possible loss of limbs.

A small price to pay for staying healthy if you ask me.

Please be aware that Covid is never going away and we are probably looking at wearing masks and getting vaccinated for the rest of our lives.

And just a small reminder as the constant threat of nuclear war hangs over us, if you are not vaccinated, you will not be allowed in the fallout shelters.