Spread JOY!

Eloise is a fictional six-year-old girl who lives at the fancy New York City hotel, The Plaza. The series of books, written in the 1950s, features Eloise and all of her antics within the hotel along with her dog Weenie.

Recently the now famous transgender woman, 26-year-old Dylan Mulvaney, dressed as young Eloise and it was adorable!

I can think of nothing more joyful that a grownup pretending to be a child complete with kneesocks.

Acting as Eloise, Dylan lip-syncs along with the narration from the film of Eloise.

“I’m Eloise. I am six. I’m a city child. I live at the Plaza Hotel, which is huge and wonderful, and très élégant, especially at Christmastime.” 

Take a look here!

This is the sweetest, most beautiful, and happiest thing I have seen in a long time. It’s such a shame that as adults, we lose that childlike wonder!

If you haven’t seen Dylan’s transformation from an actor/singer to a girl, check out the Days of Girlhood series which chronicles every day of Dylan becoming a woman.

Biden Shocked to Learn Covid (Allegedly) Came From China

As many of us know, the dreaded and famous virus, Covid, came from an infected bat at a wet market.

As the story goes, a young couple was enjoying a steaming bowl of bat soup and then later presented cold-like symptoms at the Wuhan Hospital Emergency Room.

Soon after, the male flew around Europe for work, making his way to a symposium at Harvard University and by then, his casual interactions caused the viral particles to spread quicker than gossip.

Unfortunately, the virus grew worldwide. Through social distancing, arrows on supermarket floors, triple masking, and copious amounts of hand sanitizer, the virus was contained nearly three years after the wet market bat soup.

When asked about the virus coming from China, President Joe Biden said, “What?” and when pressed further about the origins of the virus, he laughed. Dropping his voice, Biden whispered, “Get vaccinated”

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

One of his spokespeople further clarified, “The president believes that the virus originated organically through a market. He doesn’t believe it came from the Wuhan Center for Virus Exploration.

He doesn’t believe in the gain of function and refuses to believe that Dr. Fauci, a recipient of the Presidential Medal of Freedom, would dabble in the gain of function research knowing the dangers it presented.”

When asked for a comment, Vice President Kamala Harris looking wistful, noted, “It is time for us to do what we have been doing. And that time is every day. Every day it is time for us to be unburdened by what is, looking to what was, and looking forward to what may be.”

We hope someday to learn the origins of this virus so that we don’t ever repeat the pandemic again or at least the WEF decides it wants to shut the world.

Skeletal Remains Are Found, Gender Is Unclear

Archaeologists have unearthed the remains of two Roman aristocrats in England recently. The bodies are thought to be over 1000 years old and were found in a lead coffin with flowers carved into the top and along the sides.

A team of archaeologists discovered the remains after a developer cleared the land in order to build a new shopping center.

Dr. Desmond Cloutchester, NonBinary Remains Specialist notes, “These folx got a surprise when they dug up the land. They called in specialists to analyze the remains, knowing they had stumbled upon something special.”

Dr, Desmond Cloutchester, NonBinary Remains Specialist

Continues Dr. Cloutchester, “We got a real surprise having concluded they had dug remains up all remains in previous years. While the bones show the people were smaller in stature with narrow pelvises, we just can’t label it with gender. These could be two men, two women, or what I have surmised is two folks who were gender fluid which was very popular in early times.”

The group of archeologists discovered personal artifacts such as mirrors, pottery, knives, and jewelry.

“This gives us strong indications that the skeletal remains were most like nonbinary folks who didn’t identify as male or female,” notes Dr. Cloutchester.

Through advanced technology, DNA exploration, and carbon dating, Dr. Cloutchester’s team put together a rendering of what the facial structure of the remains looked like, see above.

We will have more information at a later date as the remains will undergo more elaborate testing which may take up to one year.

Don’t Be Fooled by High-Heels DeSantis

Dr. Judy McGrath Forrester-DuPont (fae/fear) Head of Intersectional Politics for Black and Gay Justice (UC Berkeley) issued a dire warning to those thinking of voting for Ron DeSantis.

Dr. Judy McGrath Forrester-DuPont

Don’t be fooled by the high heels worn by Ronald DeSantis. He has chosen this footwear to lull the LGBTQIAZ2S+ group into complacency. He is waiting to unleash a totalitarian regime where heels for men will be forbidden.”

Ron struts around in thigh-high white boots despite blazing Florida temperatures.

“What’s dangerous about this man, “continues Dr. McGrath Forrester-DuPont, “Is that he has legions of fans ready to vote him in as President of the United States. He is planning to take away a woman’s right to wear what she wants. If he has his say, he will force all those identifying as female to dress like the cast of The Handmaiden’s Tale.”

High-Heels DeSantis grabs lunch in heels.

“He will implement all kinds of rules and regulations and before long, we won’t be allowed out of our homes without a man’s permission,” Fae says.

A terrifying picture is beginning to emerge regarding the Florida politician.

Dr. McGrath Forrester-DuPont’s final warning is sobering.

“By choosing to continuously wear footwear with a heel, it’s sending a subconscious message to folx that he is in favor of nonbinary dressing and gender fluidity as a whole. The reality is harsh and troubling. I encourage everyone to wake up before it’s too late.”

Boy Runs Away From Home After Parents Refused to Hire Drag Queen Entertainment

Ten-year-old Evan Gray stormed out of his birthday party when he realized his parents had not hired Drag Queen entertainment.

“It’s not fair!” he was heard screaming as he took off down the street.

Nearly every other child in his fourth-grade class hired Drag Queen entertainment for their birthday parties leaving poor Evan in the minority.

“We didn’t think it was appropriate,” said Evan’s mother, aptly named Karen and mostly likely a MAGA Republican extremist. She did not offer neo-pronouns.

Another parent (fae/faer) commented the festivities were lame without the glitter and glitz of drag queens to liven up the party which included pizza, cake, music, and games.

Fae commented, “Without performers like Spanx Bloom or Balls LaBalls, these things are boring.”

Jaxxynn, Evan’s classmate, wanted everyone to know that drag queen Per Secco would be giving twerk lessons at her party the following weekend. And Amberleighnn, another child at Evan’s party noted, “My parents hired RuPaul’s entire Drag Race to my party.”

A Go-Fund-Me for Evan’s future therapy sessions has been set up, and his pathetic birthday party will no doubt cast a shadow over his entire adulthood.

Learning from Celebrities: Lizzo

I absolutely love nothing more than getting schooled by celebrities. For example, just recently acclaimed vintage flutist and fashion icon, Lizzo had some strong words about trans folks.

She tweeted, “Transphobia is lookin’ real rooted in racism right about now.”

This is so powerful that I had to take the time to let the words sink in.

She neglected to point out the intersectionality of transphobia, racism, climate change, and fatphobia but I will look beyond that.

Apparently, her comment was because the state of Tennessee has restricted drag shows.

Can you imagine children not being allowed to see the scientific gyrations and cosmetic contours of professional drag queens? It’s frankly, preposterous.

This is almost as tragic as not being allowed to say the word GAY in Florida thanks to High-Heels DeSantis.

Houston's Lizzo brings down the house at the 2020 Brit Awards

I think the majority of you agree that drag queens belong in elementary schools and libraries where children can enjoy quality entertainment.

According to Queer Gender Studies expert at UC Berkeley and my friend Zodiac French, PhD, “Drag sends the message of inclusion and acceptance.” Zodiac is so wise!

Ze continues to say, “It opens up a dialogue about drag culture including drug use, smoking, alcohol, sexual depravity, and sexual innuendo, all very important for the development of a well-rounded child’s emotional intelligence.”

I asked zim how young is too young for a drag show and ze laughed. “There are no age restrictions. Toddlers especially love the makeup and the glitter!”

I feel like Lizzo would agree that it’s vital to children’s development to smash socially constructed ideas of gender and sexuality. From infancy on, we must address key issues such as homophobia, racism transphobia, and misogyny, and what better way to do that than by being an active patron of the drag community?

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Let Me Break It Down For You, The Scandoval

From the New York Post. Front page news, this is IMPORTANT.

By now you may have witnessed a loved one or someone you know become deeply entrenched by what we have termed, the #Scandoval.

“Who the hell are these people? What is this?” you may ask after seeing this fiasco become a trending topic on Twitter and blasted all over Instagram.

As one victim of this reality television emotional roller coaster that has grabbed my heart with a bloody fist and twisted it, I needed to break this down so you might understand.

Be aware that you are going to be exposed to this repeatedly over the next few weeks. Little nuggets keep dropping about the affair and its uniting the country and healing wounds as about 99% of all viewers agree that Tom and Rachel are terrible people who have hurt many in the wake of this entanglement.

Brief recap:

There is a reality show called VanderPump Rules which mainly takes place at a restaurant in West Hollywood called SUR.

This cast of people (hostesses, servers, bartenders) has dated each other, cheated on each other, gotten in fights, become engaged, called off the engagement, gotten married and then divorced, and on and on. The crux of the show is not about the restaurant but about the folks who work there.

Side note: much of the earlier seasons took place near a dumpster in the alley behind SUR where servers would smoke, cry, and fight.

With that out of the way, let’s focus on the main players:

This is the piece of shit around whom this scandal aka Scandoval, centers on. Tom Sandoval is an OG cast member and bartender.

He dated a girl named Kristen and cheated on her with Ariana.

This is Ariana

Ariana and Tom have been together for nearly ten years. Everyone likes Ariana and has kind things to say about her and collectively the entire viewing population of Bravo TV has rallied around her.

We recently found out that Tom cheated on Ariana with Raquel, a beauty pageant girl whose real name is Rachel. We will now call her Rachel.

She sold feet pics to get money for a nose job.

She’s frequently noted that she wants to work with disabled children. Maybe she’s practicing on Tom?

This girl has created a sweet, innocent persona who we all felt bad for because she was with this self-centered, self-proclaimed “White Kanye” named James Kennedy. He is a DJ.

James and Raquel were engaged at one point and Tom helped James pay for an elaborate engagement party.

James and Rachel broke up last year and at some point, Rachel and Tom developed feelings for each other and apparently began wearing matching lightning bolt necklaces, not seen below, but seen in other photos.

No one had a clue.

Many suspect that Tom’s best friend, Tom Schwartz (below), knew something about this whole thing and covered for him. Tom Schwartz pretended to be interested in Rachel but now we know this was a decoy because Rachel was having an affair with Tom the cheater.

This whole sordid thing has been going on for seven months and Ariana just found out accidentally when she saw racy texts and videos on Tom’s phone.

What makes this even worse is that Rachel and Ariana were close friends. Talk about stabbing your friend in the back!

Tom dressed as Rachel for Halloween. Note: lightning bolt. Maybe if your boyfriend or husband dresses up as your close friend, it is worth doing a little research to see if something unsavory is brewing.

Anyhoo, that is the short version of this scandal aka, #Scandoval and I hope it clears up any confusion.

The News We Have All (Not) Been Waiting For!

You will be thrilled to know that Victoria’s Secret plans to bring back its iconic fashion show after taking a four-year hiatus.

I’m sure there was a void in your life during those four long years.

This new, more inclusive show will feature transwomen as seen in the above photo, as well as legends and icons Jeffrey Marsh and Dylan Mulvaney, see the below photo.

“We’re going to continue to lean into inclusivity and plus-sized people, supporting the new version of our fashion show, which is to come later this year,” senior executive LaTinq Johnson said.

“We must evolve and change to grow,” CEO and friend to Jeffrey Epstein, Les Wexner noted in 2019.

“With that in mind, we have decided to re-think the traditional Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show and flush those skinny bitches down the toilet. Going forward, we think the audience wants to see transwomen and larger folks, and that’s what they will get.”

Here at The Woke Observer, we cannot wait to see what the new show brings!

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Hours of Fun for Kids!

My younger kids are having hours of fun playing with these John Fetterman paper dolls.

They’ve complained a bit about the lack of clothing diversity but have enjoyed them by using their imaginations and re-enacting John Fetterman’s speeches.

Every paper-doll book comes with:

Basketball shorts


Another Hoodie

More basketball shorts

Puffy jacket

One short-sleeved button-down shirt

Black sneakers

Removable neck lump (not shown)

From the same company comes the Zelensky paper-doll, mildly more thrilling since it comes with American dollar bills and a wallet.

This kit contains:

A sweatshirt

A tee shirt



Short shorts


High heels

Dollar bills

Removable dollar sign necklace

My children were not thrilled that everything was olive green, but I had to point out we are in the middle of a war and leaders must wear one color and that color is olive green with occasional khaki.

We are hoping to track down Joe Biden paper-dolls but those seem to be sold out!

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